Introverts vs. Extroverts

I recently read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking", by Susan Cain. As a definite introvert who has come across only too many situations where I wished I were just a little more extroverted, it was not only encouraging to learn about the advantages of being introverted, but also eye-opening to see just how complex and fascinating human nature really is.

Cain starts out by explaining how the "Extrovert Ideal" came to be, and how it has made such a dominant footprint in our culture. She then goes on to talk about the biologic differences between introverts and extroverts. Following this, Cain analyzes how the unique strengths of introverts may be advantageous in certain situations and actually allow them to excel. She then dives into how introversion is regarded differently among cultures, especially Asian cultures. In the final chapters of the book, Cain discusses situations in which introverts may act more extroverted, as well as offers advice on how people, especially couples, of the opposite type may learn to understand each other better. Throughout the book, Cain cites the results of various research studies and refers to real life quotes to help illustrate her points.

Here are a few of the most memorable takeaways from the book:

- Despite the cultural tendency towards the 'Extrovert Ideal", introversion should not be considered a weakness. Rather, introverts just have a different way of communicating and socializing with others. Even more, introverts have proven to be even more successful than extroverts in certain situations which require leadership and teamwork.

- Studies have shown that there is an underlying biologic difference between introverts and extroverts. For instance, introverts tend to have a "fight or flight" response that is easily triggered, so they may choose not to seek out situations that would result in over-stimulation. The two types also react to dopamine differently, as extroverts tend to get "high" from dopamine more easily and will actively seek out dopamine-releasing activities.

-Introversion and shyness are two different traits, even though they often come hand in hand. Shyness is the fear of social situations, especially fear of disapproval from others. Introverts aren't necessarily afraid of social situations; they may just enjoy them in a different way than extroverts do.

-Introverts may become "pseudo-extroverts" by will through a process called self-monitoring. High self-monitors are able to adapt their behavior to the situation at hand, even if the behavior is outside of what they normally do. This is the mechanism with which some introverts are able to take on and succeed in jobs which call for a more extroverted personality. It is a skill that can be learned and practiced.

The book ends by leaving us with a somewhat unresolved question: Is it ethical for introverts to act like someone else in certain situations, or should introverts stay true to themselves at all times?

I don't see anything wrong with introverts taking on a more extroverted role in situations where doing so would add value, help others, or allow them to pursue something they believe in. For example, when working in a team and a potentially catastrophic flaw is detected, it would definitely be important to speak up and communicate your ideas assertively. Or, in a situation where a friend or family member needs sympathy, it would do well to step out of your comfort zone and show your feelings a bit more than you are used to.

When should an introvert not have to step out of his comfort zone? Simply put, in situations where it is not necessary. For example, if an introvert enjoys spending Friday nights curled up on the couch with a book, there is no reason that he should be forced on go to a rowdy night club or made to feel guilty for not going. The bottom line is, introverts should stretch themselves when necessary but stay true to their inner self, letting their quiet strengths shine through.