The Search

As silly as it may sound, I spent a good part of last year agonizing over the fact that at 25, I still hadn’t found my purpose in life. It seemed that all around me, people were pulling themselves together, setting their minds to the one thing that made them truly happy, and fearlessly chasing their dreams. On the other hand, I still felt as if I were just getting by in life, with a job that I liked but didn’t love, and with a few interesting hobbies but nothing that I would dedicate my life towards. I was lost and confused because I still didn’t know where my passion was.

Passion. As far back as I can remember, the importance of this word has been drummed into me. You must have passion for the language if you really want to learn it, insisted my high school Spanish teacher.  You need to play this Beethoven sonata with more passion, urged my piano teacher. Even during my job interview, the senior manager told me that everyone here has a passion for life sciences. Then there are all those inspirational articles for 20-somethings that seem to be popping up everywhere nowadays, encouraging us to “live life to the fullest by doing only what you love”, and “don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from pursuing your dreams.” And the one that drew me in the most: “If you’re doing something you are truly passionate about, it won’t seem like work at all.” Celebrities, CEO’s, and other successful people, when inquired about how they achieved their goals, often attribute it to passion. All of this has led to a preconceived notion that once we find our passion, all the pieces of our life will fall into place and each day will become effortless, propelled by a strong sense of purpose and excitement.

The only problem is that this is simply not true. First and foremost, just because you are pursuing what you love does not mean that every day is filled with rainbows and butterflies. There will always be days when you’re faced with what may seem like insurmountable obstacles, when the work is so daunting or tedious that you’ll feel like quitting. One reason that many people never find their passion is because they mistakenly believe that passion makes them immune to the hardships and challenges of their work. As soon as they encounter a setback or frustrating moment, they begin to doubt whether they are really “meant for this” after all. In truth, however, passion doesn’t mean a lack of challenges, but rather, it means loving something enough to be able to persist through all the challenges.

Furthermore, passion isn’t some sort of holy grail that is sitting there waiting for you to find. Instead, you need to build, develop, and nurture it. For instance, you could embark on an active search by trying out a bunch of different activities, but chances are, you’ll find that none of these activities really jump out at you. Much like finding your life partner, you seldom know after the first (or even the second or third) time whether this is something you love to do. Instead, you need to take the time and effort to really experience it and gain a deep understanding of all its aspects, before you can develop a passion for it.

I have still not found my passion, but I know now that it is not something to stress over because in many ways, this is a process in which I have control over. Instead of waiting impatiently for the day when I’ll “discover” my passion, I’m pursuing the activities I like, enjoying the fun moments but even more importantly, tackling the tough parts, knowing that in the end, sweat and tears are not a signal to back away, but rather, the only proof of true passion.